It's interesting life isn't it?
I got laid off in February and it was as miserable for me as it was for the millions of others who have experienced that same thing in the past year or so. It's a soul destroying event that I don't think anyone can understand until you go through it. To be told that you are not amongst the ones that they want to keep, to see that they kept other people instead of you, the wondering about why they kept so and so and let you go, why? Were they really better than me? Are they really of more worth to the company than I am? If so why? Did they not see all I have done? You go through the numbers in your head and it's worse when you realise it must have been something else because you were a top producer and they still chose to keep someone else over you. The effect upon your confidence and upon your ego, your belief in yourself and in the system is shaken to the core, destroyed. You then have to go out and tell other people time and time again that you were laid off and each time you have to tell someone you feel those questions surge back to the top every single time and each time you ask them it hurts just the same as it did the first time. Every time you go for a job you have to explain the same thing but with complete and utter confidence in yourself and convince the potential employer that the other company was wrong or that they had no choice but to let one of the best employees leave.
Then there is the equally soul destroying job search. The endless resume re-writes, the constant searches in obscure newspapers on line, the infinite applications to fill in, the same questions asked over and over and over again in a different way. The unlimited amount of cover letters that must be unique if you have any chance of having them call or email you. To top it off you get constant reminders of your unemployable status - 'Thank you for your interest in our company, we regret to inform you that although your credentials are impressive we have decided to pursue other candidates whose experience more closely match our requirements. We would like to keep your resume on file for the next 6 months'.
Getting those letters or email is better than the alternative - getting nothing. I applied on average for 12 jobs a day, not random jobs, jobs I really felt I could do, ones I am qualified for. Not getting an answer is insulting and shows a lack of respect from the company, it says more about the company than the advertisement they placed. Incidentally English companies rarely don't reply, US companies rarely do.
Anyway back to my initial thought. Getting a job.
I got offered a job that I have been interviewing for for 3 months now, chasing this position, it is a job I really wanted. I got offered the job. I am excited, I am flattered, it makes me feel validated and vindicated in a way, no, not in a way. It makes me feel vindicated. They laid me off and they screwed up. (Ironically enough, they admit now that they did screw up, they have lost all the clients I brought in and the revenue stream in a new vertical that I created which was keeping money coming in every month without fail). And yet here i sit numb and unsure what is really happening?
The job is in South Africa, near Durban. I'm really excited in sooo many ways, the company is awesome, I mean really great, and a fabulous management team I really think I will enjoy working with. I can do great things there and help tremendously. It is a great step in my career, I'll be the Chief Marketing Officer in a large multi-national company with thousands of employees, its a challenge I relish.
Yet here i sit wondering why I am not bouncing off the walls?
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